Weddings vs. Marriage

I’ve officially dubbed this year “Wedding Year” and I’m not even engaged. At the end of October, I will have gone to six weddings this year alone (not counting the three additional ones I was invited to but could not attend). Seriously, on the Chinese Calendar, 2009 would be the Year of the Bride (I can see it on the paper placemat in the Chinese restaurant, “Excited, nervous and blushing the Bride is a sign of hope, faith and the future…”). Now I love open bars and dancing to Michael Jackson just as much as anyone, but I’ve just about hit my limit with wedding fever.

Don’t get me wrong. I am all about marriage. I love the idealism that goes with the joining of two people. The legal and symbolic statement of commitment and commitment. The leap of faith. Two people officially becomming a family. I may not have always believed in marriage, but now at the ripe old age of 26, I think I’m grasping this concept a little more. Anyway, marriages = awesome; weddings = oftentimes annoying. The weddings themselves are always beautiful and fun; but it’s the leading up to these events that make me crazy. People get swept up in the wrong things. In the dresses, the flowers, the caterers, the bling. Yes, all the little things can be fun, but they should not eclipse the importance of the fiancé, the commitment, the days AFTER the wedding.

I hate the aftershock of a proposal. All the friggin shrieking “OHMYGAWWWWD! CONGRATULATIONS!!! LET ME SEE YOUR RING, OMGGGGGGG.” Really, people (and by ‘people’ I mean ladies)? Take a tranquilizer. Yes, major life changes can be OMG-worthy exciting but let’s not get swept away. You don’t get “OMGGGG CONGRATULATIONS!” when you break up with the wrong guy. When you don’t date someone who, although you’re dying of loneliness, you still know isn’t the one for you. When you make good, healthy decisions. I just wish we could all get OMG-excited for things other than veils and diamonds. Let’s “OMG” marriage. The idea of spending your life with someone who makes you laugh, loves you whole-heartedly and really gets you. The covenant and bond between two people. The birth of a brand new family!

So, please, can we all get a little bit of perspective? Let’s celebrate the marriage. The union. The joy and love bonding two people. And let’s stop perpetuating the wedding propaganda. The fantasy. The “happily ever after.” Because after all, the wedding isn’t the end at all; it’s just the beginning.

And please, please, please STOP with the shrieking already. Use your words. "Congratulations!" will do just fine, thanks.


jessabean said...

So I guess you understand why I always look annoyed when people ask me, "How's the wedding planning going????" Kill me!

Elyse said...

I don't know how you have no prison record yet.